So it’s a Sunday afternoon and Lauralee and I are at hot yoga. Before the class, I tell her I am listening to a book by Jenny Lawson called Furiously Happy. I tell Lauralee that Jenny too believes trash bags on the side of highway contain dead bodies and that it makes me feel better and less crazy that someone else thinks trash bags on the side of the road are full of dead people. Well, not an entire dead person because then you would totally get caught faster, more like body parts. I assume by the size of the bags most of the time that they contain a torso. I have no idea where the bags with heads and arms and legs go.
Lauralee tells me that she always thinks they have dead kittens in them. I say “why on earth would they take the time to put dead kittens in trash bags? That is not biodegradable”. Lauralee said she did not think cat serial killers cared one way or another about the environment. “Touche”, I said. I personally think this makes them not only cat serial killers but also environment serial killers and they are really just giant jerk faces all around.
I guess if you put dead bodies on the side of the road in a trash bag that you are also unconcerned about the environmental impact of trash bags thrown on the side of the highway which makes you a jerk face too.
I wonder what “normal’ people think are in the trash bags on the side of the highway. I would ask a “normal” person but I do not really know any “normal” people.
Oh wait…I do know 3 normal people. My old roommate “Ted”, my sister, and my sister’s husband. They all seem to be what society considers normal except none of them like the movie Talladega Nights and I am 100% sure this makes them terrorist and there is nothing fun about terrorist. Unless of course, you are a terrorist and I guess you think that is fun. I am so asking them what they think is in the trash bags on the side of the road. I will keep you posted. However; I am fairly certain their answer will be something profound like “trash”. I think this means they are severely limiting their use of imagination.
I should totally be working on my real job right now but honestly, to focus is not something I come by naturally. I often wonder how people go to work and do a job and do not have to constantly battle the urge to stare off into space or zero “want to”.
Can someone please pay me to day dream, write a blog that is mistitled/slightly ADHD, and color all day? But then if I was getting paid to do these things I would probably get too distracted to do these too.
The struggle is real y’all. I can say y’all because I am from Oklahoma and y’all is a real word in Oklahoma.